Deanna, Olivia, and Laura
It seems like I knew I was a lesbian the day I was born. I have been attracted to women since preschool and I had my first girlfriend at the age of 12. My relationships have always been with women, so I never thought that being a mom was an option for me.
I always liked kids and so I decided I wanted to be a teacher. I was in my last year of my bachelor's degree from the University of Texas when my former partner, Kate, and I began taking about having a child. We decided to adopt though Child Protective Services in Texas. I was extremely surprised at how progressive the agency was, and how we were treated—we went through the same process as everyone looking to adopt.
Kate and I were selected to be Olivia's parents when she was 10 months old. She was an extremely premature baby, being born at 25 weeks gestation and weighing only a pound and a half. She had many medical problems at first but they resolved themselves over the years. When we brought her home, she weighed 10 pounds. She was my miracle baby and still is. Kate and I were able to jointly adopt and were the first non-married couple in Texas to do this, although it was done with the courtroom doors locked.
After I graduated, we moved to a small rural town in Central New York and I got a job as a Special Education teacher. We became a part of the community and our family was accepted. Olivia grew, made friends, and began attending elementary school. Kate and I never hid who we were and Olivia grew up proud of her family. Olivia has never been shy about letting people know who her moms are and at school, she always made two Mother's Day gifts. I feel that it is our presence in the community and in Olivia's school that has made a difference in how teachers and administrators recognize and accept our family.
My relationship with Kate ended and we agreed to joint custody with Kate being the custodial parent. When Laura and I began our relationship, she immediately accepted Olivia into her life. Laura and I attend all of Olivia's functions at school together and Olivia likes to introduce Laura to her teachers. We have been together for 4 years now and although we only have Olivia on weekends and half of vacations, we make the most of it. When it's warm, we like to go camping, kayaking, and biking. The past two summers we have gone to Family Week in Provincetown. This vacation is especially good for Olivia because she gets to be with kids who also have LGBT parents. It is very empowering for her to be a part of this community. She would rather go to Family Week than Disney.
I love having Olivia in my life and I could not imagine my life without her.
Deanna